all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
