Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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