I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I need water and some morals
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