i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
