also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
