we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Randomize
