I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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