dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize