Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
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Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize