Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
