she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
