I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
