why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
