Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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