dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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