There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
