You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I think my vagina is haunted
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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