just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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