I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
