What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize