Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize