I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
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I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
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He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I just gargled with NyQuil
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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