he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
