Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
