Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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