maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
