New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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