But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
