My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Randomize
