Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
