i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
