is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
It's blow job season.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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