I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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