Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
