the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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