I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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