Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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