My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Randomize
