This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
