I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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