His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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