He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
