I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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