remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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