thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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