Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
