Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize