let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
