I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
