twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
