I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
You did what with his pubic hair?
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