these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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