she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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