is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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