Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
