Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize