I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
