New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
