dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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